Family for a Kid.......
What is a family? Is it just a word? Does it really 've some meanings? Do you know the word "One Happy Family"? Have you seen one?
Ok, I was watchin' TV 'n' they were showin' some stuff 'n' it really made me think about different families 'n' kids around me. I couldn't believe what I 've found out. Here I'm gonna talk about few people 'n' I want you to give me your pure opinions.
An American case: North America has the Highest Divorce% than all the other parts of world. Accordin' to FBI report, More than 90% of the kids who get into serious issues of Drugs, Sex 'n' Guns 're those kids who 're livin' with Divorced Parents. Can you believe this? When a couple decides to go seprate ways DO THEY REALLY THINK, WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO THEIR KIDS?
An Indian case: In India more than 80% of those men who 're married twice or more 've one simple reason, that their wives can't give birth to bunch of kids. Can a family with one father, two Mothers 'n' alot kids, live a normal life? DO THEY REALLY THINK, WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO THEIR KIDS?
An Arabic case: In some Arab countries like Saudi Arabia, Jordan 'n' Egypt, it's a Fashion for men to 've more than one wife. They try to show each other that they 've more Sexual Men Power so one women can't fulfil their needs. The truth is that it's 100% fake excuse. They 've nomal Sexual appetite like other men. Most of these men 're Rich 'n' financially they can afford many wives 'n' kids, but what about the "one Happy Family" DO THEY REALLY THINK, WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO THEIR KIDS?
An African case: In most parts of Africa it's cultural thing to 've 10-12 kids. After havin' these kids Africa cries for help to rest of the world. And the kids they deliever 're mostly HIV by birth. DO THEY REALLY THINK, WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO THEIR KIDS?
A Gay case: Miss Mardis is my friend in Dallas, TX 'n' she has a Gay friend in CA. I call him a Psycho, not coz he is Gay but coz he is Gay 'n' he wants a kid of his own seeds. What the hell he has to do with "My own blood". He wanted to hire some woman who can take his seeds through artificial way 'n' deliever his kid. If that kid's right to 've a proper family with Mother 'n' father both. DO THEY REALLY THINK, WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO THEIR KIDS?
A Bi-Girl case: I know a Bi girl who was my class mate in school. She is Bi but she also wanna get marry 'n' 've kids, even though she is not sure if she can give up her girl addiction after marriage. Here I'm not talkin' about those men who wanna enjoy 3some, I'm talkin' about a proper marriage of 2. Does she think she can provide a real family love 'n' values to her kids? DO THEY REALLY THINK, WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO THEIR KIDS?
A Sl*t case: A woman works in my office 'n' I know 'n' everybody knows that she has Looooooottttssss of boyfriends. She gets a boyfriend 'n' after some time she gets new one 'n' then new one. She is into Orgy stuff 'n' alot. And now she is thinkin' about adoptin' a kid to start a family, though she says that she never wanna get marry coz marriage is chain that stops from Free-Sex-Life. Can she give a real family to that adopted chiid? DO THEY REALLY THINK, WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO THEIR KIDS?
Lets think about it. I really want some Pure Opinions from all of you, please do share. You all 're part of my Prayers. *Smiles*
God bless you.....
posted by Mr. Khurram @ Wednesday, May 03, 2006
21 comments
21 Comments:
Speaking as a North American, and the child of parents who didn't think about what would happen to the kids, I think I agree with you: most people DON'T think, and they DON'T care what happens to the kids. This is why I didn't have kids...better not to have them than to have them and hurt them.
Well friend u raised n talked of a really very serious n sensitive issue here which is been ignored by many parents.
Well wat i think of it is that people r trying to get more n more independent, they prefer their own comfrot , happiness and fun. Nobody want to compromise. For their own convinient n benefit they get into any relationship n when they dnt feel comfortable with it they just left out without thinking wat gonna b the consequences. People r so mean so that they dnt even think of their own kids that how their decisions gonna impact their lifes. People r less family oriented now adays and this is impacting our societies negatively.
Hope u doing fine there.
Takecare.
Talk about opening a HUGE can of worms. I don't think it's that easy to just make general catagorizations like that.
I am divorced, twice divorced, and I very much so thought about my children beforehand. The first marriage was physically abusive, then I had Sara with a disability. We had to leave. Second time around my husband announced after two more children and six years of marriage that he was not interested in me sexually. After intense counseling it was "Bye-Bye". The thing is ex #2 and I are both VERY involved in the raising of our three children. SO much so that we even spend all of our holidays together in spite of the fact that I am now remarried.
Like I said, you have to look at each case- every situation is different and it cannot be lumped together quite like that.
Come on Brighton Dear! i didn't mean to upset you. Infact when you posted about Sara's birthday, remember my words?
I know you 're one of those parents who love their kids like nothin' else, but that post was not just about you, it was about many many 'n' many people around us. Can you deny this fact that so many kids mis guided by the stupid actions of their parents?
But you 're not one of them, you 're my VERYYYYYY Sweet friend who is a good Mother infact. Now you should smile or I'm gonna put a lit candle somewhere near you. LOL!
God bless you.....
Not mad at all : )
Both Samrina and Brighton are right.
Many people today do not think of the kids but many do. I think in each case a person has to concider the situation. I have even seen gay people raise children who came out more normal then children that were raised so called normal people and the children of the gay peole were not gay.
There is a really funny comedy movie about two gay men that raise a normal child he is not gay. If you can find it you should watch it. The name of it is 'The birdcage' the actors are Robin Williams and Natan Lane. It is very crazy and very funny but it also makes a point .
It doesn't matters as much who you are, as it does what you do for that child, how you bring that child up.
Interesting post...however...the definition of a family has drastically changed...we don't have the concept of a nuclear family anymore...but people are still raising good kids nonetheless...:) see ya champ.
What is a family? Is it just a word? Does it really 've some meanings? Do you know the word "One Happy Family"? Have you seen one?
Yes Khurram I have seen one. My family was a happy family. I am not saying that it was a bed of roses growing up but my parents raised my brother and I with a good sense of morals and family values. They taught me love and compassion , charity and kindness, and forgiveness even to forgive and be kind to those who weren't so kind or forgiveing. We grew up poor and had a lot of hard times but they were a time of learning and also a time of making us a stronger bonding family. they taught us how to get through the bad times together because the worst was almost over. As a kid growing up I never understood somethings in my life but looking back at it now as an adult I understand all to well some of the things that my parents did for us. And I think that my brother and I have turned out ok. I also have seen my friends grow up in a broken home and they are fine to so you can't just look at statistics and say or think that because a childs life growing up in a broken home or a drug addicticed home or a gay or lesbian home or a home with more than one parent is all bad. it is what you instill in that child that....that child is going to remember. You can instill all of the family values and morals and teach the child of life meanings of good and of bad ..teach love and understanding kindness and forgiveness .......but when that child becomes an adult it is then up to that child to choose which road or path he or she will travel down in life.
Quite a heady post here. Now let’s get down to business…
Yeah I have seen a happy family , my own. We may have our moments but when all is said and done it’s all about the love. Re:An American case: I can see how given the freedom we have in this country the divorce rates would be higher than in other parts of the world.
I’m the only one of my friends that comes from a 2 parent household in which both parents are my biological parents. Luckily for me and my siblings my parents love each other and have a good marriage. I don’t believe in staying together for the sake of the children that doesn’t work. Kids can sense when their parents are unhappy and in the long run it tends to distort their views of marriage and make them shun it. I find that parents who walk away easily from their kids when divorced were never really there for the children while married in the first place.
I cant really comment on the African, and Indian cases, that’s more a question of religion because as you know all religions frown upon birth control. According to religion women are supposed to have as many children as God chooses to bless them with never mind if they can support them or not or if they are born with an illness. Although I can tell you that I have several Egyptian friends whose father has more than one wife. It all depends on the type of person the man is. One of my friends dad got a second wife and then totally forgot about his first wife and their children. But that man was just a total pig. The other friend’s father treats both wives equally and the kids as well and is the kindest human being I ever met.
Per the gay case this I speak from personal experience. I’m sure if the man was willing to spend money to have a surrogate mother carry his child then he has given the thought of parenthood a lot of thought. This is not just an impulse whim on his part. I grew up in a neighborhood that had a lot of gay couples and as a result went to school with their kids. I can honestly say that there was no difference in the households that had 2 mommies or 2 daddies as opposed to my heterosexual parents. I can tell you that the kids seemed more empathetic to the suffering of others given the prejudices that they had to deal with outside of our neighborhood and school. As long as the child is wanted and loved it doesn’t matter who is raising him.
As for your bi friend she doesn’t need to give up her girl addiction but then again she has no business being married unless she can commit to the person that she is marrying. Until she is ready to commit then she shouldn’t have children because the marriage would be an unstable one. That’s the thing about marriage once you take your vows all outside dating must come to an end…lol
As for the slut…how do you know she is a slut does she talk to you like that give you details about her sex life? If she is a slut and knows it and knows that marriage is not for her. Then good for her at least she is being honest.
Kudos to her for wanting to adopt a child too many children need families.
I don’t think that once she has the kid at home with her she’s going to be holding orgies while her kid is in the other room. Plus honestly if she is not of good character she wont be able to adopt a child they do investigate these things.
The fact of the matter is that too many people have children without thinking. They don’t realize all the work that goes into being a parent. If they are going out of their way to have a child ie adoption and surrogate parenting then they must have given it some thought. Having two parents isnt a guarantee for anything. It all depends on the person(s) themselves. How often do we hear of some atrocity commited to a child by their biological straight as an arrow moralistic parent(s) ? Too many times.
Having a child takes a lot of responsibility you cant be egotistical because once that child is born there is no me me me anymore there is only that child. The child comes first everything else follows it.
Champ.. i've seen familes where
a) the mother brings up the children even tho she has been drained out of her strengths coz of poor attitude, irrationalism, narrow mindedness, little undersatnding etc frm her dear hubby. Tho she has the choice of gettin out of da relation but she dznt coz she has 6 kids & their future concerns her and her husband both. she knows she may deserves sumthin much better, her society is Not holdin her down. Yet she stays & They keep their family together..
b)i've also seen a family where da mother brings up her kids.. widout her husband-(he passed away) didnt bother remarrying, saw the kids thru scool, coll, university, work.. now those kids r married n 1 even has a son. wid excellent morals n lesson being passed down to the new generation.
c) i've seen a husband who, after his wife passed away at early age, brought up da kids Alone, widout gettin married again in fear da second mum myt not provide da love n understandin his kids deserve.
These incidents all did take place. but unfortunately, none of them belongs to ths new era. 1 of them does belong to a generation frm wich ur n my mum came frm n others date back to our ancestors' tym. these ppl cared n have fought with everything to give their kids da best. sadly enuff, children r no more than a human form of 'pet' for parents these days, or worse i've read sum wud even prefer a cat or a dog over a kid. but thts diff story.
Selfish. is wot i call today's world. even parents rnt behaving lyk The Parents they got back in their tym. end result is tht whn "ADULTS" arnd those innocent wide-eyed kids, start behaving lyk cracked in da head, selfish, immature beings, those poor lil things have no choice but to run to other means of comfort frm outside world. drugs, friends, variety of sexual partners. they become reckless. they try to seek love, comfort n understandin frm else where, coz they rnt gettin it at home. parents behavioral pattern is often seen reflected in kids even tho if its done unconciously. its observed tht ppl wid damaged childhood treat their other society members wives their own kids wid more or less da same attitude their mum/dad carried back then. In other words, taught them. In Brighton's case the mother isnt at fault da father myt be. But kids need "parents", Both mother's n father's assurance of love to be whole. If it cud have been done singularly.. thn why wud da nature bother wid da whole "sexual process"-- everybdy cud have produced kids at will, widout da help of a partner.
Nature's rules arent meant to be broken. Humans shud learn ths b4 they pay more dearly than they have anticipated.
n i agree wid wot mia said.
It all does come down to "how" a kid is raised. not by "Whom". lyk whether da gaurdian/parent/grandparent etc iz mature enuff to take the reposibilty tht comes along wid child? Can they, da parent(s), actually provide -(rather than "think they can")- da child wid da right ambience, lessons, morals n ethics tht can help him lead a life wisely whn he stand on his own feet?
Hey what about the 'uk case'!!!
Thats unfair!
Maybe UK are too good! ;)
I think its all about how you raise kids. What you give to them and what you show to them about life.
Hope u doing fine there, actually i just came to read out comments here n really touched with the porn queesn's comment. With the help of this platform i mean ur blog Khurram i wanna msg porn queen that she really got a nice soul, may God bless her, my prayers r with her.
Takecare.
Removing my daughter and myself from the emotionally abusive "family" we were with her father was the smartest thing I ever did.
SHE was all I thought about.
i don't think it's my place to judge what does or does not constitute a family. if it's a loving environment with good role models for the child, then no one can condemn the situation. a family does not need to have a mother, father, and child to be considered a real family. if a group of people love each other and have a deep connection, then who are we to judge how they came together or became a family? this is just my opinion.
:( :( I feel bad for porn queen.
wot im abt to say-(call it childish or fairytale-lyk or cliched) n ths only goes out for Porn queen, if anbdy disagress, wid all apologies: plz dun bother expressin ur views.
I believe, n i really do. If she's a gud person at heart, n has been forced into this kinda career n she really cudnt back out by means, thn, Allah ji must have planned sumthin else for her... sumthin she really deserves. sumthin better. for i knw my Allah ji never leaves a helpless alone.
God is out there queen, He's bin there for us all ths while, now our part is to break free n reach out..
#1: FBI does not keep statistics relevant to the American (or otherwise) family. Not sure why you chose to site them as a viable source. Please cite. i.e. : link to your source of information.
#2: I see you have statistics relative to many countries. You live in Pakistan. What are the statistics for your own country?
It would be beneficial to your readers if you were to link to the source for all your statistics.
Opinions are fine. They are a human right in our country (USA). Here we have the opportunity to choose our beleifs and express ourselves. We have ACTUAL statistics to base our opnions on and our opinions are formed by well informed people who come together to create a country of FREEDOM. FREEDOM of thought, religious preference, and FREEDOM of speech. We can PROVE OUR statistics... we KNOW of our problems and we have the right to correct them.
I notice YOUR country is not mentioned in the above scenarios. Does this mean you are above us somehow? If so, please instruct as to how we can better our culture. Or, was your country left out because it has nothing to offer statistically?
On a personal level, are you still married? Have you ever been? Do you have children? How many?
Fair is fair.
BMABWY _ Thankyou for your comments on my blog, though your comments showed HATE, I don't know why.
#1 My Dear! You can see these statistics about US in this link.
http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/guns.htm
It's BJS (Bureau of Justice Statistics) statistics 'n' FBI uses same statistics when it comes to FAMILY.
#2 I don't think you care about statistics of other countries I talked about. I 've all these statistics 'n' information about other countries coz I 've witnessed all these things with my own eyes. I 've travled 'n' lived in many countries of the world, so I witness 'n' then speak of Ground Realities (unlike most of Americans).
#3 You talked about Culture, Freedom , Religion, Opinion 'n' many things 'n' you said in a way like I don't believe in these things. Why did you feel a need to tell me all that? Coz people with some sense 'n' some manners do believe in all these things, no matter which part of the world they belong.
#4 I'm not Pakistani, I'm not American, personally I believe in no-borders world. I'm a member of Human Family 'n' live on Planet Earth, that's what I believe. Pakies 're not above you, you 're not above Pakies. We all 're equal, brothers 'n' sisters to each other, that's what I believe.
#5 I 've talked about Paki case also, read the post again carefully.
At end I just wanna say that I felt bad for those kids who can't get their rights in a family, so I simply posted about few cases like that. You didn't like it??? well, ok!!!
God bless you.....
It is not that I did not like it man! It seemed biased to me. I was not hating just stating fact and wondering where you got your facts. I have LIVED here my whole life and while I agree that a broken family is not good the alternative can be much worse. Living somewhere does not qualify me however as an expert. I know this, not one person I know has taken their divorce lightly, in fact for most it has be equal to the devastation of losing a loved one to death. I think you were trying to say that people in general are not up to you. Tell me about your marriage and children. Tell us all.
The Family Unit in America is slowly becoming extinct. Well meaning people who are against divorce may not know how to keep a marriage together because there are almost no examples to follow anymore. Hollywood marriages are the focus of so much media attention and it seems ok to just bounce from spouse to spouse.
I come from a very broken home. My mother has been married five times... My father has been married twice and is now single. My husbands parents however are still together even though it is a second marriage for his Dad.
It makes me sad to think of all the children hurting over a divorce. I think most people jump to get a divorce before they really try to fix their marriage. Just because you think something is broken doesn't mean it cannot be mended.
One of the most important aspects of keeping a marriage together is having a strong foundation. Sexual Chemistry is no kind of foundation and most people get married because they are attracted to each other.
Dr. Dobson is one of the most knowledgeable people I have ever heard on the subject of Family. Try checking out http://www.family.org/ You will find some of the best advice on keeping a family together.
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